February 12, 2011

Presenting: Lainie Liberti - from California Digital Media Executive to Globetrotting Mom on the Road

One of the gifts of working on this website is that it connects me to some very exceptional and often inspiring people. In this interview, meet Lainie Liberti, a successful former California new media entrepreneur, who quit her middle-class lifestyle and went on the road with her son Miro a year and a half ago. After experiencing burnout from her rat race career, Lainie and Miro are now living a completely new life on the road that includes "radical unschooling" and volunteering. Over the past 18 months this mother-son duo have learned so much and have gained plenty of new insights already. Read Lainie's one-of-a-kind story, submitted to us from her current location in Medellin, Colombia.

1. Please tell us about yourself and your background.

Well, first off, that's sort of a loaded question. I can start by telling you a little about my professional background, which is what most of us identify with. In fact I did until two years ago, but we will get to that a little bit later.

I am currently 44 years old. I spent roughly the last 20 years working in a creative capacity of some sort. After college and traveling through Europe for a year, I returned to the States with less of a direction and but knew that I needed to figure out how to make a living in a creative capacity. I worked as an artist assistant and waited on tables as I continued to create my own art. I was young and idealistic and was inspired by the conceptual art movement of the 1960s and 1970s which were much more focused on the idea rather than the object. I pursued performance art as an expression and became very active in the Los Angeles art community in the early 90's and even made a name for myself as a performance artist.

Lainie & Miro working on an art project together in Antigua, Guatemala

In 1991, I found myself waiting on tables in West Hollywood, next door to a tiny start up called BoxTop, who created these things called “web-sites”. I was so intrigued by what they were doing, that I actually bought my first computer, an Apple Centris 660AV. (Can't believe I still remember that). I managed to talk myself into the art department as the company's first intern. I worked for about 6 months for free, learning everything I could about (early) web design. With my fine art background, design came easy to me and with my new computer at home, I was able to teach myself photoshop at night, and learn web techniques by day. This was when the web was young and excitement drove progress, parallel to my personal development.

I worked for BoxTop for many years, moving through the ranks. After my position as an intern, I was made a Jr. Designer, then promoted to a Senior Designer then finally an Art Director. After being acquired and folded into the iXL brand, the Los Angeles office grew as well and became a well respected new media ad and design agency, with over a hundred offices worldwide. During my eight or so years there, I worked on many high profile client projects ranging from top consumer brands (Doritos, Hottopic & Guess? to music label's most notorious artist Marilyn Manson) and even contributed to the design of a famous energy company who's best known for fraud and scandal (Enron).

After eight years of with working with consumer brands, I took on a new direction, still within new media, but now focusing on original content. I became the Executive Art Director at a new start up backed by 35 million dollar investments called DEN (Digital Entertainment Network). I was in charge of managing an art department of 35 artists and launching a new, online network of original content programming geared for the Gen Y generation... and yes, if you were wondering, these were the “dot com” hay-day, the days of six-figure salaries, enormous expense accounts and no less than fifteen hour work days.

It was 1998, and along with the job offer to head DEN's creative team, I found myself newly single and pregnant with my son, Miro. I took the job but I had an intuitive insight that helped me cut through the madness of those days, that swept away many. Miro's presence gave me perspective, knowing all that really mattered was the beautiful child that I was blessed to have growing inside of me. He wasn't born yet, but he alone, kept me grounded.

In April of 1999, Miro was born, I had imposed boundaries of how much work I could do taking care of a brand new baby by myself and running a demanding art department, but somehow I managed. It was understood that I could only work ten hours a day and somehow my sanity remained in tact. Unlike many of my colleagues, my entire identity was not wrapped up in my work and my life's purpose was realigning. So when the industry started to show signs of crashing at the end of that year, I was not as devastated as many around me. In just over one year from Miro's birth, (mid 2000) DEN was forced to shut it's doors and roughly the 350 people it once employed were now out of work.

Lainie & Miro on the beach in Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica

And the bubble began to burst...

My years of experience made me very valuable at the time, and almost immediately I was snatched up by an e-learning company that thought it was immune to the impending full-on dot com crash. The start-up was called SpongeLab, founded by the same folks who brought us the TV show “Survivor”. This company seemed to stand outside the collapsing market because of it's private angle seed funds and the revenue model, with built-in shared revenue streams with our content partners, top tier private art colleges throughout the United States. It seemed fool proof, and for the next year I was able to work designing on art educational experiences and focus on building an online community surrounding our e-learning brand.

However, it was not fool proof. The financial market completely crashed in 2001 and Spongelab too, went away. But what stayed with me, was a profound business experience that ended up changing my professional life. At Spongelab, I had the opportunity to work with one of the top branding agencies in Southern California as they worked with our team to help us define and build our brand. As the Creative Director, and a brand stake-holder, I participated in the branding exercises and helped review the documentation. I had been exposed to the concept of branding from my earlier years working in client services, where the projects we designed always had to be consistent with our clients' brand position. Our creative ideas were either accepted or rejected solely based on the brand messaging and it was then, I was exposed to the concept.

Lainie & Miro deep in Actun Tunichil Muknal, a Mayan sacred cave in Belize

But this time, I was able to participate in the creation of a brand, and experience that process. I found myself fascinated and from that moment on, I began studying branding practices and techniques. For me, the act of branding took me back to my attraction to conceptual creation that intruded me as a young, idealistic artist so many years before.

The market fully crashed and in late 2001 I made a gutsy move: I started my own agency.

I was well liked in the industry and my design work was well respected, had been published and won awards. The years of client services came with many contacts, all of whom preferred to work with the smaller shops during the market crash. It was a time that relied on relationships and a time of growth. I started a small design agency with a writer friend of mine but after a year and a half, he decided to pursue his own writing full time. That was when I decided to take the agency from a design firm and specialize solely on branding. To make matters gutsier, in 2004 we positioned our agency as specializing on branding for green, eco companies, non-profits and arts organizations only.

It was a hunch that paid off, for jungle [8] became one of the first specialty firms know for green branding and communications. Our agency for the next four years became well known in the industry and respected as one of the pioneers of green branding as I wrote many articles on the topic and spoke at several conferences. Building a business from the ground up did come at a cost, however. The cost was the available time I had for my son, still the most important part of my life.

2. You talked about experiencing “burnout” from the typical rat-race lifestyle and the demands of daily life. What brought about this burnout and how did you come to make a radical decision to change your life?

When I first began branding, I was very passionate about it. I found a creative means to combine the conceptual exploration with visual communications, managing creative teams and crafting strategies. All very exciting and rewarding. And somehow, it didn't feel as “evil” as advertising which sought solely to point out what's lacking from an emotional perspective in their audience and promise to fill that emptiness with a product. In fact, the more I understood about branding, the more I despised advertising and the consumerist cycle it fed into. Working with green, eco companies and non-profits somehow gave me the sense that I was using my skills for good somewhere just outside of the consumerism cycle. But it was still taxing on my time and on my consciousness.

In addition to the creative work we were doing as a company, I also had the responsibility to assure invoices were paid by my clients, my staff had what they needed and new business was coming through the door. After eight years of running a small agency, the business aspects became my biggest challenge and biggest source of stress. And I realized, the stress did indeed take the pleasure out of the freedom I experienced through “creating” something I yearned to experience again.

Running a business took a toll on me. I realized I was working those 15 hour work days that reflected the craziness of the dot com days past. Now, Miro had grown up with the jungle [8] around him he was comfortable with participating in our meetings and being in the office among our team. But he still said to me more times than I like to admit, “Mom, you never spend anytime with me. You are always working.” And that was true and his voice had the power to break my heart into tiny pieces.

In 2008, again, the market took a turn. The California economy was crashing and as a result, our “bread and butter” clients started going away. These were clients we had long term relations with, some of whom were jungle [8]'s clients for the last eight years. Once again these external economic changes reflected an opportunity to change our lives, something I had become comfortable with.

One evening in September 2008, I was sitting with Miro in the office after everyone had left for the evening. I let out a sigh and looked at him and said “I don't want to do this anymore... Let's get rid of everything and find a simpler life, climb a volcano, plant a garden, live in the jungle. Let's go have an adventure in the world away from this consumerist lifestyle and get back to what really matters. Each other and enjoying life.”

Miro bird watching in Panama

Miro looked and me and smiled and said “I'm in!'
..and that was all it took.

3. What was involved practically in changing your life? How did you go from being an LA-based advertising specialist to becoming a free-spirited world traveler?

It's a simple as letting go. It's as simple as making up your mind.
It's as simple as setting your intention.
The nuts and bolts? Stop what you are doing, commit to it, then go through the process of selling or giving away all of your belongings and then follow through. Many people require more solid structure, research and research as a form of comfort, plan, plan, plan.... Do whatever makes your feel comfortable before you leave, but then be prepared to let it all go. Just know, there is something to be said about perpetual motion. In other words, everything starts to fall into place once your intention is set.
Trust the process.
Trust the flow.
And yes, I assure you, it's the easiest thing to do when the inspiration comes from inside of you.
Trust.
Yes, that's it. Trust that it will work out and guaranteed, it will.

4. How did your son cope with all this change?

In general, I think children are flexible and cope with change much easier than adults. Never under estimate the resilience of children.
If your connection is strong, this bond will be the foundation that allows you to move through anything together. Our bond has always been strong, therefore, we are the perfect travel companions. We communicate about everything on a deep honest level and respect each other's point of view. I think that's been the key.

5. What was it like to shed most of your belonging and your material assets?

Actually shedding our belongings and material assets was the most liberating aspect to the whole preparation experience. Letting go in the beginning was a slightly difficult, slightly identified with the the fear of the unknown. But soon after we began the process we realized how easy it was to give away or sell our “things” and just how good it felt to go through that process. It was as if shedding each layer released a tiny weight, preventing me from flying somehow, allowing us to take one step closer towards our journey, and this, we were excited about.

Interestingly enough, just after we had committed to our trip, I would have nightly dreams about getting rid of our things, like a butterfly breaking through it's coccoon. The feeling of liberation was something I desired deeply and the anticipation of that feeling made the letting go process very natural to us. To witness Miro giving away his toys to his friends and other children, was so heart warming as well, and I felt honored I was able to facilitate his experience of giving and letting go.

I can't express properly with words how amazing the feeling actually is, there are a dozen analogies I could us, one more visually or emotionally titillating than another, but until you go through the experience of getting rid of it all, it is meaningless. Do it and you'll feel the exhilaration.

Riding horses in Cozumel, Mexico

6. So tell us about how your big journey started. Where did you go first and how did your first few weeks unfold? How was the transition from your regular middle-class life to your life on the road?

Miro and I did a trial trip first, as we explored couch surfing in Latin America. We took 6 weeks and explored Mexico and Belize. We adjusted quickly to being in a Spanish speaking country, learned the grace of being hosted, and Miro and I slowed down and and started enjoying time with each other. We had some amazing adventures, met more amazing people and discovered in those 6 weeks, we could do this together.

We tried out our new packs, our new hiking boots, our travel gadgets and travel guide books. It was our trail trip and that was just what we needed, time to get our feet wet and go back and make final adjustments.

For several months leading up to the trip, I was definitely stressed out, wrapping up details, dealing with logistics. I was about 15 pounds heavier than my ideal weight, my skin was broken out from stress and I was emotionally and physically exhausted. To make matters worse, looking as bad as I did, I actually felt run down.

So in that state, what were the chances of being booked on the same flight out of LA to Huston with an ex-boyfriend? And he was not just any ex-boyfriend either, he was my last long term significant other, the one I refer to as the love of my life, the one whom I painfully parted ways with just 3 years before. Was I over him at that point?
Don't think I will ever be, but some say the best revenge is living well, and I knew I was on the verge of a huge life change, but looking the way I did I looked more like I was on the verge of a breakdown.

I was a grown-up, after all, so of course I approached him with my vulnerable big self. After a hug and a forced smile, I brought him up to speed on what we were doing. He listened to me and I could see as clearly as our boarding gate over his left shoulder, he did not think we would last on our new lifestyle for more than a month. He kissed me on the cheek, smiled and said “well... good luck” and I boarded the plane holding back the tears. I was given the opportunity in that moment to declare once again what we wanted, to exercise that decision and say goodbye to the old me. I knew I'd shed the pounds, my skin would once again clear up and I would feel less tired and stressed and wondered why I couldn't run into him again then????

In hindsight, I have noticed when you declare you want something to the universe, a lot of times, the universe will provide the opportunity to make sure you feel the weight of your decisions in the process. This was one definitely of those cases.

Speaking of weight, Miro and I noticed on our trial run, that we packed too much, our backpacks were too heavy, and we didn't use half of the travel gadgets we thought we would. We shed many of those things too when we finally left for our RTW trip a month later (after returning to the states for Burning Man) and on a side note, we were grateful REI allow exchanges as both Miro and I downsized from our original bags.

Lainie & Miro in the Botero Museum in Medellin, Colombia

7. Please tell us about the practicalities of your new life. How do you select your destinations, how to you get from one place to another, where do you stay?

We started in Mexico and it would have been simple to say we moved south, resulting in where we are today, Medellin, Colombia. But we didn't and we ended up criss-crossing north and south through Central America.

We do try to travel over land as much as possible, meaning long bus rides, which don't seem to bother us much. Like I mentioned, we started in Mexico, but after 6 weeks, we flew back to the states for burning man and our final departure. We ended up in Costa Rica first, and after one month we headed north to Nicaragua. From there, we basically traveled north until we reached Guatemala where we absolutely fell in love with the country.

We travel using inspiration as our compass. We are also practical in terms of trying to go to where ever is closest geographically. We plan our next destination when we feel inspired to leave the one we are at.
We request couches when we know we are leaving one place and having a friendly face greet us when we arrive at a new place always makes our traveling much more fluid.

8. How much time do you spent in one place and how do you know when it’s time to leave and move on? How do you settle into a new place?

We never know how long we'll stay in one place. Again, if we are inspired, we stay. If not, we ask the people we meet on the way, what places they've been that have inspired them and we go. I think though as a rule of thumb, the least amount of time we spend in a place is a week. It's very difficult to get to know a town or the people in any shorter amount of time. For me, the idea is a three weeks to two months to experience life and become involved in the culture.

9. Where are you currently and what’s special about the place where you are now?

At the time of writing this, we are currently in Colombia, Medellin.
This city is unique in many ways, including the friendly people, the eternal spring-like weather and the infamous history of drug lord Pablo Escabar. Medellin is also the birthplace of artist Botero and as we've become more immersed int the city, we are noticing just how much culture exudes from Medellin.

Our experience of Colombia and of all of Central America does not match any of the images portrayed in mainstream news. In the States we are meant to fear the Latin American countries with scary histories. Before we left the States, one of my friends thought she was doing us a service by recommending we buy kidnap insurance. This was from a progressive mom, whom I thought had more sense to buy into the kind of fear. But I'm afraid she did not.

Bottom line is, the world is a safe place and this is exactly our choice on how we choose to experience it. And we do.

In front of the Panama Canal in Panama City, Panama

10. You mentioned you have learned to live on very little money. How has your lifestyle changed to be able to do that? For the cash outlays that do come up, how do you take care of those?

We live frugally. We couch surf, we eat local, we try to cook for ourselves. We walk a lot and we volunteer. We have been living on a $1000 a month budget for two people and that's doable. Twice on our travels we've been down to $10 but both times we have been expecting money from clients from past jobs I did on a freelance basis. However, I am completely and totally burned out on branding, web design and strategy for clients, I have vowed not to do it anymore. I am walking away from my past. I am indeed committing professional suicide.
That's ok for now.

So, where we are at the moment financially? Well, we have very little money left. Seriously less than $200. How will that last? Not sure, but we are resourceful. I am completely and one hundred percent committed to making a living through our blog and podcast, and I can't think of a better time to do that, than when we have literally no money. We've received a sprinkling of donations in the past and that's helped keep us afloat, but this model is not sustainable. Now we are seeking sponsors and advertisers for our blog and podcast and the same way I have learned to trust the universe, I trust my intuition that we'll be fine.


11. You do a lot of volunteering in the places you visit. What has made you decide to do that, what kind of organizations have you worked with and what has been your experience?

Both Miro and I are crazy about animals. We have found working with animals is natural for us, and specifically dogs seem to move us both. We've volunteered in Nicaragua at a makeshift animal clinic working in triage helping them after surgery. We also volunteered at a cat rescue in Belize, helping with the daily chores for over 70 animals.

In Nicaragua, I worked with The School of Comedy and Mime. I worked with the school's founder and marketing team to help develop a promotional campaign for two upcoming events. I lso taught the team a little about brand messaging. Additionally, I taught a workshop to the core company on butoh, a performance discipline I studied for several years in Los Angeles, keeping my love for performance alive.

However, my passion is children. I have yet to find an opportunity where I can work hands on with children. In an informal basis, every country I have visited, I spend much time with the children in the community, often playing, reading and simply sharing with them. I have made more friends with kids than Miro has, but that's an entirely different story. I think I would love to work with children with AIDS and children in orphanages. If there are opportunities out there among anyone reading this interview, I invite you to contact us. I am interested.

The hilltop cross on Isla Taboga, Panama

12. What have you learned about people since you started your journey?

No matter the language, no matter the circumstances, people connect with their eyes. We have the inherent ability to understand one another and connect authentically if we just give it a chance. A smile goes a long way, and people are kind. I have had so many heart warming experiences on the road that take place through a glance, but they are real. Humanity is so very beautiful and I'm so honored my son and I can share the experiences together.

Here's a link to a blog post you may want reference. It's a beautiful story of connecting with an old man and experiencing love:

http://www.raisingmiro.com/2009/07/19/awakening-to-humanity/

13. You plan to be on the road for at least 6.5 more years. What other destinations do you have in mind? Do you have a set plan or schedule?

We will slowly make our way around the world. I know Asia will be a big part of our journey from India to South East Asia. Many times I feel excited and anxious to get there soon, so using that as a gauge, I think that will be our next destination. I would love to experience Europe with my son too, such a rich history and exploring that continent will help us connect to our family history. I am excited about exploring the Middle East and Africa. Australia and Indonesia is there too, so... did I miss anything?

14. What do you think may happen when your son turns 18? Do you see a return to a more settled, conventional lifestyle back in the US?

Miro shall determine that. But if I had to guess at this point, I'd guess he will join the Peace Corps and continue working with humanity. He is sensitive to his place in the world and has experienced how his participation can make a difference. Even a small difference is a difference and that's important.

As for me, I will be 50 when he turns 18. Will I be ready to settle somewhere by then? Maybe, time will tell. I'll just be starting my fabulous golden age then and since I have already fallen in love with life, perhaps I'll have attracted the perfect partner by then who has the same love for life. One can hope!

I find it hard to predict anything, frankly we don't know where we'll be next week. And that's ok too. How about I check in with you in 6 ½ years and let you know?

Miro's first ice-skating experience, in Panama City Panama

15. How has this experience affected the relationship between you and your son so far?

"We have spend close every moment of it together (with some exceptions of course) and as you can imagine, our relationship has grown stronger. The single most important aspect to this, has been our ability to laugh together. The games, sayings and interactions between us have become an important part of the journey.” ~Lainie Liberti.

We started off having a fantastic relationship, close beyond most typical parent child relationships. Our relationship has clearly strengthened for sure, but not sure if that is by virtue of traveling solely. We do at times encounter issues surrounding boundaries. For example, in addition to being Miro's mom (and dad), sometimes he treats me like a kid-friend saying things that just aren't appropriate to say to his mom. We talk about it when it comes up and it's not serious, but things like this are bound to come up with our unique lifestyle where there is a lack of interaction with other children.

Also other issues arise as at times when I wish to do adult things, like share time with other adults. I think these are typical issues any single parent will encounter, not specific to the living on the road.

Adolescence is just around the corner too for Miro so it will be interesting to see how that effects not only our relationship but how we travel. Will keep you posted.

16. You mention that your son is being “radically unschooled”. What do you mean by that?

Lainie & Miro are “unschooling”. In fact they have discovered there’s a movement and a name to describe exactly what they are doing. It’s called Radically Unschooling. The philosophy behind unschooling is that children will learn what they need to know when they are ready and want to learn it and this flows through every other aspect of life.

But there are exceptions, of course, but I’ve seen games spark Miro’s interest in mythology, quantum physics, history and culture. We’ve had an open platform to discuss humanity, violence, and choices because of video games. I’ve also seen Miro’s research skills improve as the Internet and Google are second nature to him. I didn’t like going to the library when I was his age to research because it was so overwhelming.. what a drastic change for this generation.

Lainie & Miro swimming in The Five Sisters, Mountain Pine Ridge Forest Reserve, Belize

17. You mention that you are in the present in the moment.

When I was pregnant I read Eckart Tolle's The Power of Now, and from that moment I have embraced the practice of being in the moment. My exploration of the concept has taught me to trust my intuition, follow inspiration and allow life to happen without resisting what “is”.
Being present is the practice of all of those things and traveling has allowed me to experience these aspects my daily.

What a complete and total gift.

18. What are some of the most significant learning experiences and spiritual insights you have derived from your new life?

Traveling has allowed me to experience trust, fully and openly. I trust we'll be fine in the world. I trust that we are on path. I trust this is the best experience for my son. I trust only wonderful experiences will come into our lives. I trust that things always fall into place and we'll meet the right people and find the perfect circumstances. I trust the universe and I can't think of a better way to raise Miro.

Lainie & Miro in Granada, Nicaragua

Lainie, you have a fascinating story that will inspire many of us to look at our day-to-day life choices and consider other, more unusual life paths. We wish you the very best for your travels, and please keep us updated on what's happening to you and Miro in your global life journey.

Here is Lainie's website: Raising Miro