|
May 15, 2005
The Traveller Next Door:
My Friend Carol - Expert on Turkey and Greece
My friend Carol, a wonderful and unique woman in her early 50s,
is a high school math teacher, a gifted painter, a very decent piano
player, and what else - a world traveller. I only really met her
about a year ago or so, but once I found out all the places that
she'd been to I knew I had to do an interview with her.
Carol has been travelling since the 1970s, and she has forged some
amazing connections with 2 countries: Turkey and Greece. She lived
in Turkey for close to 8 years and has made life-long friends in
what she calls her "second country". And she's also developed
some close ties with people in a special little village in Greece.
Here's her story:
1. Please tell us a bit about your travel experience in
general. What places have you visited?
It started with my first trip to London, England, to visit my uncle
when I was 16. That trip changed my life and opened the world up
to me. I basically led a sheltered life in Scarborough (a suburb
of Toronto) and really had known nothing else. The trip to London
gave me this travel bug that has never left. I backpacked Europe
the summers of 1972 and 1973, that’s when you could do “Europe
on 5 $ a day”. Greece was the cheapest – we managed
on 2$ a day!
The next summer I went out east to P.E. I. and the next summer
out west to Victoria.
After university in 1976 I took a few years off to travel. My sister
joined me for the first year. We started in Paris, visited our dad
in Communist Czecholosovakia, hit the beaches of Yugoslavia –
Makarska, and then on to Greece. After Greece we flew to Israel
to work in a Kibbutz. I had to see what was going on in that country
that was so much in the news. I stayed 8 months and then went to
be an au-pair girl in Paris for 11 months. Back to Greece followed
by a great trip to Turkey, Jordan and Syria in July 1978 and then
back to real life in Toronto.
I always made shorter trips back to Greece once I became a highschool
teacher. And to the States to visit friends I had met on my travels.
A wedding on top of the World Trade Center, a friend in Memphis
besides the memory of Elvis, and a friend in San Francisco where
I fell in love with the Golden Gate Bridge and another in Manhattan.
I quit my full-time highschool teaching job after 4 years and went
on a trip to Tokyo, Hong Kong and Thailand. The timing was close
– we were in Tiannanmen Square one month before the massacre
of May 1989.
From 1989 to 1999 I worked as high school teacher in Istanbul,
Turkey, coming home twice for one year and once for half a year.
My love affair with Turkey began. Before I came back to Canada for
good in 1999, I had the pleasure of visiting Australia, a great
country with the friendliest people.
2. You have a very special connection to a village in Greece
called Parga. Please tell us about your first encounter with the
village of Parga.
The first time I went to Parga was in 1976. I had been working at
the O’Keefe Center [a famous concert venue and theatre in
Toronto] and an usher there had told me about this wonderful village
in Greece he used to go to in the summers. He produced a postcard
with a beautiful beach and uttered the word “Parga”
as if it were magic. He couldn’t speak much English so I didn’t
even know where it was located in Greece.
In September 1976 on my big trip with my sister, having just come
from Yugoslavia, we were staying on Corfu. Corfu seemed too touristy
to us, so we wanted to visit another place in Greece. My idea was
Crete. It seemed far but on the way to Israel. We couldn’t
decide so I just opened a map of Greece and my eye went directly
to “Parga” (a tiny village in the northwest of Greece,
so small it is sometimes not even on the map). Parga!!!!! Then I
remembered that magical word uttered by the usher. “Let’s
go”, I said, and fortunately it was close to Corfu. The travel
agent was surprised we were asking directions on how to get there.
It wasn’t too popular with foreign tourists yet. And she added,
“the young men are beautiful”. Well, that did it! We
left that day.
A ferry trip 2 hours to Igomenitsa, and a 2 hour bus ride south.
We arrived in the evening and we found a room for the night and
walked along the waterfront of the village. It was beautiful –
2 small islands in the port with a church, a castle on one side
on the hill, and mountains behind.
We ate “brizola” (pork chops) and than sat at the café
“Parga Bar”, discussing our plans which included not
talking to any young men for a week because we were tired of the
men in Yugoslavia who came on too strong. At that moment one of
the most beautiful men I had ever seen walked up to us with his
friend who spoke English and asked if he could sit down. My sister
said “No”, I said “Yes”. I was mesmerized.
They both had rooms to rent, one above a disco, and one just in
the building beside us. One for a $1 a night and one for $2 a night.
We picked the second one not above the disco. Lefteri looked like
a Greek god or like a young Marlon Brando. He had a friend, Camille,
a Canadian woman who was in Parga for the 3rd time. He brought her
to the table and we became instant friends.
To make a long story short, we stayed for a month in Parga, having
the time of our lives. It was a small unspoiled fishing village
then, only 3 people spoke English and there were very few tourists
in September. And the young men were beautiful!
Lefteri, Camille, and many of the young men who are now in their
late 40s and 50s, my sister and I are still friends who reminisce
of the good old days of the summers of 1976 to 1979.
3. Since your first time in Parga, your relationship with
this village and its people has evolved. Please tell us a little
about the human connections.
I have always gone back to Parga for my holidays, unfortunately
it is too far and too expensive to go every year. In 1976 my sister
Elaine made friends with a teenager by the name of Christos, who
was at the disco every night, dancing up a storm and was one of
the three people who spoke English. He invited us to have coffee
with his mother, a remarkable mother, who extended her hospitality
to us (“ksenis”). Foreign women were not looked on favourably
in the village at the time, and probably even today, as it seemed
we were there to take the young men. I remember the first female
tourists who married and stayed to live in the village. That was
1976. Now there are at least 40 of these marriages. (Maybe the local
women’s paranoia was justified).
Gia, Christos’ mother, became my Greek mother. Either she
“adopted” me or it was the other way around. How many
hours I spent in her tiny house with 2 rooms, the tiniest kitchen,
and the most magnificent view I have ever seen. She fed me, kept
me company, taught me Greek and slowly we communicated. She had
a wonderful husband Vagelis, who I had coffee with every morning
down in the village. And 7 children, mostly grown-up by then –
6 boys and 1 girl.
Christos and Lefteri came back to Toronto with us in 1978. Christos
had never slept in a bed until then. Lefteri went on to visit his
brother and sister in Chicago, Christos stayed with us for 4 months
and saw snow for the first time. He now lives with his wonderful
partner, Jo (from England) in Brussels with 3 beautiful children
and he still loves “patates” (French fries).
Lefteri still lives in the village with his wonderful young Greek
wife Marilena and 3 beautiful children. He used to run 2 discos
and the “bouzoukia” in the olive grove. He has had a
restaurant now for many years. Who knows where he learned to cook….
Many of the young men I used to know from the 1970s still live
and work in Parga. Most have families of their own. Some are still
single, many have their own businesses.
4. What is your favourite memory of your stays in Parga?
I have many favourite memories of my stays in Parga. I’ll
mention 3. One is always there and will always be there every time
I go. I can always count on it. It is the moon, especially when
it is full. The full moon rises at one side of the village, it makes
its way across over the beach and finally sets on the other side
above the monastery. There is nothing to match it. Everyone there
knows I love the full moon – “panselino” it is
called in Greek.
My other favourite memory was a bar called “Stavlos”,
run by Giorgo and Angelo from Veria. Giorgo started it on a shoestring
in 1978 – the best bar ever! A bottle of Retsina (Greek wine)
– 17 drachmas (50 cents)! And ‘toast’, like a
grilled cheese, for a dollar. And usually you could make it yourself
as Giorgo was too absorbed with his girlfriend at the time. My sister
and I were his first customers, many hours were spent there watching
the people walk by. He seemed to be always open, even after the
discos, at 4 am. A great atmosphere! How many glasses we washed
(we helped him out)….
Giorgo became my Greek brother and unfortunately he had to close
down after a few years due to rising rents. I followed him wherever
he worked – the islands of Paros, Santorini and Kos, and his
hometown of Veria near Thessalonika. He married a Danish woman who
has also become a very good friend of mine. They now live in Denmark
and have 2 beautiful children. I have been to visit them 3 times.
I love Denmark!
My 3rd memory is my connection with the Avloniti family, Christos,
his mother, his father and siblings. They made me feel a part of
their family. Vageli passed away 12 years ago and sadly Gia passed
away last year. Parga will never be the same without her and neither
will I. Finally though, after 5 years, I am going to see Christos,
Jo and the family this summer in Parga at the end of August.
5. You also spent a significant amount of time in Turkey.
Please tell us where and how did that come about?
The first time I visited Turkey was July of 1978. My travel companions
were two gay friends, one from Jordan and one from Britain. We took
various buses to Jordan from Athens and stopped in Turkey and Syria
on the way. What a trip! It was the year “Midnight Express”
came out, a movie that didn’t show Turkey in a favourable
light at all, and Turkey did not seem the most desirable country
to go to.
I knew nothing of Turkey, and imagined a country of “swarthy
mustached barbarians”, the typical stereotype. How wrong I
was!
Back in Canada I eventually became a highschool math teacher. After
4 years I had enough and quit. I wanted to work in Greece for a
year, but there was a problem with work permits. A friend phoned
me in March of 1989 and told me he saw an ad in the Globe and Mail
for English and Math teachers in Istanbul. I applied because I figured
it was close to Greece. I was hired and off I went to Istanbul with
13 other Canadians to work in a private high school. Little did
I know that it was in the far suburbs of Istanbul.
We were given apartments by the sea, with a view of the Princes’
Islands. But we were isolated, no TV, no telephone, no English newspapers
in our suburb. Work was difficult: 38 students in each of our 6
classes. And nothing to do at night.
I almost came home in March of 1990. But I started to be enamored
with Istanbul during that summer and decided to come back and work
in the center of the city. After one year back in Canada I did just
that and stayed until December of 1998.
6. What was it like living and working in Turkey?
Living in Turkey was hard at first because of the language barrier.
It became easier once we found our way around and learned some Turkish.
I discovered many of the teenagers did speak English. And then it
became very easy, because the Turks were so helpful. I never worried
about finding my way. If I asked there was always a Turk to show
me or take me where I wanted to go. Even when I didn’t ask
and looked lost. Turks really like foreigners. My neighbour sometimes
looked at me as if I were from outer space. But my last neighbours
were the best I ever had, so generous and kind.
Because I couldn’t afford expensive apartments I lived many
times without central heat. I wasn’t used to being so cold
in the winter. Now though many apartments have gas heating. Also
in 1993, there was a water shortage for 400 days! More than a year!
Our water was shut off most of the time, except every second evening
and morning, and was never on during the weekend. We had to save
water in containers. I had a lot of watermelon, hot dogs and pizza.
Electricity cuts were also quite common. One day we went for 3
days straight without any electricity. All the food in the freezers
got spoiled.
A lot of things didn’t work right, but a lot things did.
It was easy to get anything fixed, for example. There were repair
shops everywhere since the poor couldn’t afford to buy new
things.
Istanbul had a few malls, and lots of stores, but I bought many
things from the vendors on the streets, trains and ferries. There
was action everywhere. There were few beggars, the very poor held
shoe-shining jobs, sold tissues, balloons, chicklets, lemonade,
cold water, cucumber pieces, watermelon - anything to make a buck.
I especially liked the pickle vendors.
You could also shop from your home, on the street a different vendor
would walk by and utter a special call announcing his arrival, for
example the plumber, the guys who collected old metal, the yoghurt
man, the tomato and vegetable man, the used furniture man, the potato
and onion man who came in a horse and cart, a man who sold a special
millet drink in the winter. His call sounded like the word “boze”,
which he sang in a special melody, which I loved.
Another thing I loved were the movers. If you needed a pick-up
truck, you just went to the intersection where they congregated
and bargained a price, no booking ahead required.
Teaching in Turkey was a bit different than teaching in Canada,
for the first years we only taught 3 ½ days of the week.
This was fantastic. Then the Turks got “smart” and realized
no other country did this.
I found teenagers to be the same everywhere. The students were
no different really than here. The 11 year olds – my favourite
group – were “younger” in maturity than here,
which was nice to see. They seemed to grow up more slowly there.
No drugs in high school. Many schools had a system where the students
did an extra year after Grade 6 to learn English intensively for
a year.
Now they learn from kindergarten.
The system of testing was a bit different and more bureaucratic.
Each class had 6 big common tests per course, which were taken during
the regular school time. One thing I thought was very strange, was
that the foreign teachers had to go to the general meetings which
were held in Turkish.
I taught in 3 different high schools, my second was a charity-funded
boarding school for children without fathers – wonderful kids.
My last school was in the center of Istanbul and I had the privilege
of working with an excellent team of English teachers, both foreign
and Turkish, of which many have become friends. I was there 4 years,
it was hard to leave then, but I visit now every year.
7. What can you tell us about the mentality of people in
Turkey?
The mentality of the Turks is a whole topic within itself. Most
Turks are poor, although there is a slowly rising middle class.
They must work hard to survive, there is not much time for play.
Turks tend to live for the moment because of this. When they are
asked to do something, they tend to say what they think will make
you happy, whether it is true or not. That took me a long time to
get used to. Eventually they do get things done, but not at “your”
time.
They are not a country to protest, I guess because of their politics.
They are a quiet people who spend a lot of time waiting or lining
up for things. It seems they have resigned themselves that if they
are vocal still nothing will happen. One exception to this is their
love of honking when driving. But still nothing much happens. My
head of department waited 14 years for his home telephone. Now that’s
patience! That was a long time ago though and the world of technology
has changed. Ironically Istanbul had way more bank machines than
Toronto in 1989. And now everyone has a cell phone.
Because it is a poor country, my wallet was stolen 4 times and
my TV and pay-TV decoder were stolen once from my house while I
was sleeping. If you plan on visiting, watch your wallet.
8. Turkey is primarily an Islamic country. How does that
manifest itself in day-to-day life? How did that affect you as a
foreigner, particularly as a female expatriate?
Being an Islamic country, you hear the calls from the Mosque several
times a day. So when looking for an apartment – beware! Don’t
locate too close to a Mosque. I can’t say I missed this cacophony
of sounds when I got back to Toronto.
Ramazan (the Islamic holy month of Ramadan) affected our daily
life since the Turks who fast can only eat before sunrise and after
sunset, the best time to take a taxi in Istanbul was during those
mealtimes. You didn’t have to wait in traffic. Also the streets
were empty while a soccer game was going on – Turks are soccer
fanatics!
Since Turkey is secular, women do not have to cover their heads,
and definitely not their faces. A lot of women, originally from
Eastern Turkey, did wear scarves, though. Students are forbidden
to wear scarves in school. There are definitely more completely
covered women in Toronto than in Turkey.
I was surprised to discover that none of my adult students from
the language school I taught in part-time had ever been in a Mosque.
They told me mostly the elderly go to the Mosque for something to
do. Apparently they do not actively practice their faith.
Of course a lot of people go to the Mosque during holidays, as
Christians would go to Church during Christmas. Good muslims must
be kind and helpful, especially to the poor. I found this was definitely
the case and I was surrounded by kind and helpful people.
Being a non-Muslim in a Muslim country did not really affect me.
The Muslim religion is accepting of all religions. One thing that
did bother me was that in many areas only men or couples went out
at night. The single women now though are beginning to go out. I
am not sure if this comes from the religion or culture, or maybe
both.
If I was out late at night, I had a very safe feeling, that all
the men were watching out for me to make sure I wasn’t bothered.
Of course, I was no spring chicken any more anyway.
9. What is your favourite memory of your time in Turkey?
My favourite time in Turkey was when a group of 25 people from my
school went on a trip to South-Eastern Turkey, organized by the
geography teacher. It was about 6 days long. I called this the “Magical
Mystery Tour” and it was exactly that.
We took a plane to “Gazientep” (famous for pistachios),
then we went off on a mini-bus. We saw the Euphrates and Tigris
rivers, crops of lentils, chickpeas, nuts, bridges and monuments
thousands of years old. We went to Urfa, said to be Abraham’s
birthplace. It seemed time had stood still for at least 2000 years.
I thought we were back in biblical times.
The trip ended at Nemrut Mountain – 4 hours of driving up
into the mountains to walk another ½ hour to a wondrous site
of statues in the middle of nowhere. The clouds opened up to let
the rays of the sun through, they call this “the hands of
God”. Spectacular!
10. Through your various travels you have connected with
people from many different countries. Please tell us about your
international circle of friends, how did you meet them, where are
they now, how have these relationships evolved?
I now have very close friends all over the world, thanks to my
travels – close in heart, far in distance. I have more friends
outside Toronto than here and I love them all dearly.
My Australian friends are all from when I taught in Turkey. Also
my friends in England and one in Toulouse, France. My European friends
are mostly from my stays in Parga, they now live in Denmark, Belgium,
Switzerland and Italy. I have friends in Tunis and Paris from my
days as a nanny as France.
All my Turkish friends are still mostly in Istanbul and many of
the foreign teachers I worked with are married to Turks. One of
my closest friends, a Swiss woman now living in Athens, married
to a Greek, met me in Toronto as a tourist herself. My friends in
Memphis recently moved to Florida from the Kibbutz and of course
there is Camille from Parga, who is originally from Vancouver and
now lives in Orlando.
If I were given one wish, I would wish them all here to be here
close to me. The Internet has almost made this possible.
11. What are some of your most moving human experiences
that you had as part of your international connections?
An extremely memorable experience was related to my friend Taha,
who I had met as a young au-pair in Paris in 1977. He was from Morocco
and a friend of the family, one of the nicest men you could possibly
know. At the time he told me that 3 of his brothers had “disappeared”
for political reasons in Rabat, Morocco, 5 years before. The police
had come to the door and they were gone, never to be seen again.
No word on where they were or if they were alive or dead.
Years went by and I kept in contact and I met Taha in Aix-en-Provence
9 years later. He was to be married to a Tunisian woman. We still
kept in contact and then I lost him for 5 years. Desperate to find
him, I contacted my au-pair father in Paris 20 years later. Thank
goodness he still had the same telephone! I found out Taha was living
in Tunisia with his wife and 3 young children. I phoned him and
he wanted me to come and visit as it had been about 10 years since
I had seen him. So I flew from Istanbul to Tunis in January of 1997.
Taha met me at the airport and we went to his beautiful house in
Sidi Bou Said, a suburb of Tunis. Wow, I had known Taha when he
was poor, where did he get this windfall I asked? He told the incredible
story of his 3 brothers who had been released from a Moroccan prison
17 years after their capture and he and his brothers had received
substantial compensation from the Morrocan government.
Taha was living in Paris at the time when he got a call from a
friend in Morocco who gave him the news. He had not heard one word
from his brothers for 17 years. He assumed they were dead. Well,
they were alive and coming to Paris!
After a month of being treated in a Moroccan hospital they arrived
and the family was reunited. I get goosebumps just thinking of it.
The miracle is that the 3 survived and were all sane.
I returned to Istanbul after a week and one month later Taha told
me that one of his brothers, Beyazid, was coming to Istanbul. Taha
asked me to show his brother around. It was my pleasure and honour.
But the story doesn’t end there. The first night of arrival
Beyazid told me he had to go to the airport the next morning. I
thought he was coming by himself to Istanbul. No – he was
meeting his friend and lover Maria who he hadn’t seen in 25
years since his capture. Maria had heard that Beyazid had been freed
and they had been looking for one another for 5 years. They finally
found each other and decided to meet in Istanbul.
I met Maria that afternoon, a stunning now 50 year old woman. It
was my job to find a place where they could reunite and we could
celebrate under the motto “bien manger, bien danser, bien
nous amuser’” (to eat and dance well and have fun),
as Beyazid said in French. He wanted to go to a place with a female
Turkish singer. All this was a tall order for me since it was to
be to be a very special celebration.
I found a place and we spent the most magical evening and the most
magical 2 weeks in Istanbul. Maria and Beyazid reconnected as good
friends and became as close as ever. It was like we were characters
in our own film, almost surreal. Beyazid has become my friend and
I have also met another brother of his in Paris, Midhat, who had
also been in prison. The 3rd brother lives in Texas and they all
stay in touch frequently.
When I see Beyazid, a man full of life, who seems to have forgiven
those who took his life away for 17 years, I find it hard to complain
about any little or even big thing for that matter. Nothing could
be worse than what he and his brothers endured – a living
death.
Beyazid – you are my inspiration….
12. How do you still stay in touch with Turkey and what
are your upcoming plans to visit this very special country?
I still visit Istanbul every year. 8 years of friends and contacts
is hard to leave behind. It feels like it is my second country.
I dream of being near the Bosphorus, the waterway that connects
the Black Sea with the Sea of Marmara, and the nexus between Europe
and Asia. I never tire of it.
I will be there this August and somehow I will also get to Parga
at the beginning of September. Now though I like to be home in Toronto
at the end of September, beginning of October.
I missed so many autumns in Toronto and never realized it was such
a nice place to be.
Yes, it is nice to call Toronto home.
Thanks for your time, Carol. I have really enjoyed your stories.....
Useful books for travelling to Turkey:
Related Articles:
My friend Leslie, another
regular person, talks about her trip to Antigua
Karla, a Canadian woman, talks about
her expatriate life in Spain
For more background read Carol's
interview preview
|
