June 27, 2005

Presenting: Dan and Judith Talk About Their Fabulous Two-Year House-Swapping Experience
in Provence

Through a friend of mine I met Dan and Judith, a professional couple in their 50s who spent two fabulous years in Provence, having traded their lovely Toronto home against a country house in the south of France. Here is the story of the two most exciting years of their lives, how they prepared for this experience, where they lived, how they integrated with the locals and the expatriate community. This adventurous couple also started a special project: documenting their local French town and its history, eventually turning it into a book. Dan and Judith also talk about what it felt like coming home after these 2 years, their recent trip back to Provence, and what foreign ventures may lie ahead for their retirement.

Dan and Judith in front of their beloved village

1. Please tell us a bit about yourselves, your interests, your personal and professional backgrounds.

Dan: I was born and raised in India. My family is Anglo-Indian (of mixed European and Indian descent), and culturally more British than Indian. In 1960, my family moved to England. I studied at the London College of Graphic Arts.

In 1967, I moved to Canada with my first wife. I worked in graphic arts in advertising for the next twenty-some years, in a variety of positions. By the mid-1980s I was Director of Client Services for a design studio. In 1992 I left to go out on my own as a graphic arts design consultant.

I have a daughter and step-daughter from my first marriage. Judith and I met in 1974 and married in 1981.

My interests are music (listening to and playing jazz, blues, and old-time rock ‘n’ roll), travel, photography, and golf.

Judith: I was born in Toronto and grew up in Peterborough, Ontario. I studied English at Queen’s University, was a high school teacher for three years and then became a computer programmer.

For the next seventeen years, I held a variety of IT positions. By the mid-eighties, I was Director of Corporate Systems at a large insurance company.

In 1987 I quit my job, wrote a romance novel (never published) and then became a free-lance corporate trainer, writer, and instructional designer/developer. My company, The Idea Interpreter®, makes complex business ideas – concepts, processes, systems, and methodologies – easy to understand, learn and use.

I love reading, logic puzzles, watching competitive figure skating, walking, golfing (badly) and travelling.

2. From 1993 to 1995 you had an opportunity to spend two years in France. Please tell us about the unique circumstances about how that came about.

Judith: I was teaching a three-day course. At lunch on the second day, one of the participants happened to mention that she’d just moved to Toronto from Washington D.C, but had lived in France for many years.
“Wow! France! My husband and I dream of living there!” I told her.
“I need a house here for a year or so, and I have a house in France,” she said. “Why don’t we swap?”

Dan: When Judith came home and told me what Roxanne had said, I was both excited and doubtful. How could we take a year or more off? Could we afford it? But we both loved the idea, and wanted to explore it further. We set a date with Roxanne to come to dinner, see our house, and talk about the swap.

By the night of the dinner, we had pretty much made up our minds. When Roxanne walked in the door and said, “I could live here,” we knew we were on our way, even though we had no idea what her house was like or what part of France it was in. Exactly three months after that night, we arrived in France. We thought we’d be there for a year; we ended up staying for almost two.

3. Moving to another country for a substantial time away from home involves numerous preparations, practical, financial, emotional and otherwise. How did you prepare yourselves to get ready for your extended stay in France?

Judith: It was a hectic three months. Even before meeting with Roxanne, we’d consulted our financial advisor who encouraged us to go for it. Next, we had to apply to France for long-stay visas. To get them, the RCMP [Canada's federal police force] had to investigate us and confirm that we’d never been in prison or in trouble with the law. We had to supply proof that we had enough money to support ourselves, get a signed certificate from Roxanne that we had a place to live while in France, and all kinds of other stuff. Then we discovered that, as a British citizen, Dan didn’t need a visa, just his British passport. So he got his passport and – after several visits to the French consulate – I got my visa. Our two cats had to get their shots, certificates of health and new travel cages. We talked to OHIP [Ontario's provincial public health insurance authority] and got a one-time exemption from the 6-month out-of-country rule, and we took out additional health insurance.

Meanwhile, we packed all our personal things. We shipped a few things to France – our golf clubs, Dan’s bass, winter clothes, some favourite books and CDs – and put the rest in our basement. We had the house cleaned and painted. We arranged to do our banking by phone and fax. (In 1993, we hadn’t even heard of e-mail, there was no such thing as a web browser, debit cards weren’t available in Canada and bank machines didn’t always work internationally.)

We told our clients we were leaving and wound up our current projects. We had a busy social whirl, seeing friends and family to say our farewells. We were very excited about this adventure, reading everything we could about France, and planning what we’d do with this unexpected, but very welcome, self-granted sabbatical.

4. Please tell us a bit about the area and the little town in the south of France that you moved to. Please describe the house that you moved into.

Dan: Roxanne’s house is located just outside the perched village of Le Bar-sur-Loup, in the back country of the Côte d’Azur, about 10 minutes north-east of Grasse, the perfume capital of France, 30 minutes due north of Cannes, and about 45 minutes north-west of Nice. It is about an hour to Monaco and just a little further to the Italian border. This area, the French Riviera, has the most temperate climate in France, and is one of the world’s glamour destinations. And we were going to live there!

The house is named Mas Ste. Anne. It is a 250 year-old mas, or French farmhouse, with a modern wing that Roxanne and her first husband added when they bought it in the mid-’70’s. On the ground floor is a big entrance hall, a powder room, a kitchen, and a large living / dining room with lovely old furniture and a baby grand piano. Upstairs, there are three big bedrooms, a small single bedroom we used for storage, and two full bathrooms. Off the landing, half-way up, is a storage and laundry room. There is a balcony off the master bedroom and a covered patio just outside the front door.

The grounds consist of nearly an acre of terraced hillside just outside and above the village, on the side of the mountain on which Le Bar is perched. There were thirteen olive trees, a laurel (bay leaf) tree, and many fruit trees that provided us with lemons, oranges, apples, pears, peaches, cherries, crab-apples, and – courtesy of the overhanging branches from a neighbour’s tree – even figs. Rosemary hedges lined the driveway and the steps below the house; over the walkway and steps was an arbour of grapevines. We had flowers all year round -- mimosas, magnolias, bougainvillea, wisteria, roses, oleanders, daffodils, violets, iris, and many more we didn’t recognize. We even had a few date palms, yucca trees and a small stand of bamboo.

Mas Ste. Anne

5. What were your impressions and feelings when you first arrived? How did you spend your first few weeks?

Judith: We arrived in France in early August, exhausted from all the months of preparation and the last-minute flurry of leave-taking. It was very hot. For the first few weeks, we cleaned the house from top to bottom, something it really needed. We spent hours every day outside, wearing as few clothes as possible, doing nothing: sipping chilled rosé and pastis on the patio, enjoying the view, sleeping in the garden swing. We walked down to the village and did our grocery shopping, then puffed our way back up the hill (a 25% grade) to the house. We spent hours finding the French words for things we needed to buy (litter boxes for the cats, printer cables for the computer), looking for the right stores in Grasse and Nice, and explaining what we needed in our very rusty French. It sounds mundane, but we found it very exciting.

Dan: First impressions and feelings were basically pure sensory overload: the spectacular setting of the village 380 metres (1,200 feet) above sea level; the view looking north up the Gorge du Loup, with Gourdon – the next village, 15 minutes by car – perched on top of a mountain 760 metres (2,500 feet) above sea level; the “chirping” of the cicadas that began around 9 each morning, building as the heat increased through the afternoon, subsiding around 6 as it got cooler; the ubiquitous smells of Provence – rosemary, thyme, bougainvillea, jasmine; the intense taste sensations of local produce, cheeses, and wines. And on top of all of that, there was an air of unreality about it all. It was hard to realize that this wasn’t just a short vacation; that we were actually going to live here.

Le Bar-sur-Loup

6. Once you settled in, did you have a certain routine for spending your days? What types of activities did you pursue?

Dan: Yes, we did develop certain routines. At first, though, they didn’t fit with the customs of life in France. Time and again, after breakfast on the patio, we’d get ourselves together to go shopping – and find ourselves arriving at the stores just as they were closing for a two to three-hour lunch. We did eventually learn to adjust to the French routine. Shortly afterward, the larger grocery stores began to stay open all day. It was convenient, but not nearly as quaint – and we missed the excuse to go for lunch and a half-bottle of wine while we waited for the stores to open!

In the evening, after dinner, we’d make a point of watching the eight o’clock news on TV. At first we didn’t understand anything at all; it was just a wave of unfamiliar sound. Gradually, we began to distinguish words and phrases, even if we didn’t know what they meant, and eventually we understood most of what was said.

Judith: The days, though, were quite varied. I don’t recall much of a daily routine. I’m an early riser, and I liked to sit out on the patio in the mornings. Dan would join me there when he got up. Some days we spent at home. I would write and clean the house; Dan would cook and do laundry, play the piano (he taught himself to play while we were there), and take photographs. We’d let the cats in to use their litter box and let them out again. We both read a lot. And, especially in the spring and fall, we mowed the terraces.

Other days we’d go out shopping or exploring. We did pretty much everything together: We ate out a lot – you could call wining and dining our major hobby! We golfed occasionally. We went to every event in our village. Later, when we had more social life, we went visiting and to parties. Once a month, we went to a club where Dan played in a jam session that lasted till 3 or 4 a.m.

Dan: Our routines were interrupted when family and friends came to visit. The first spring we were there, we had guests almost every week from the beginning of March until well into June! We loved every minute of it, showing them all the places and things that we had been discovering and learning to appreciate ourselves.

7. The area you moved to is gorgeous. Please tell us about your regional explorations and excursions, your favourite places.

Dan: You’re right; it is a gorgeous area. Our most favourite place was Le Bar-sur-Loup itself. It’s perched halfway up a mountain slope above the Loup River valley; from the village square you can look east across the valley to the Pic des Courmettes, the highest mountain at 1,248 metres (4,120 feet) near the coast, or north up the Gorge du Loup and see the pre-Alps in the background. Le Bar itself is a beautiful, non-touristy village. On the square are the 15th century church, the chateau (built in the 12th century with 18th century additions), and a modern Mairie (town hall) and boules court. Below the chateau are narrow, winding pedestrian streets and steep stairs, and remnants of the old walls that protected the villages from marauders.

"Nuages Mauves"

Judith: Within fifteen minutes, we could be in Grasse, where Queen Victoria used to vacation, Valbonne, which was laid out by the Romans, Gourdon, a spectacularly perched but very touristy village high above Le Bar, or Tourettes-sur-Loup, another beautiful and well-known village. Antibes, Cannes and St. Paul de Vence were all about thirty minutes from us. And in less than an hour, we could be in Nice or the seaside resorts of Juan-les-Pins and Golfe Juan. St. Tropez was a little further, about two hours away.

Dan: One of our favourite excursions, when we had friends and relatives visiting us, was to drive to Nice, go to the flower market, then drive east along the Corniche Basse, the lowest of three roads along the coast through Villefranche, have lunch in the harbour at St. Jean, Cap Ferrat, and then drive around the rest of Cap Ferrat, past all the big estates, though many are hidden behind walls and hedges. Then we’d continue on to Monaco to see Prince Rainier’s palace and visit Princess Grace’s tomb in the cathedral. One day we saw Prince Albert. If we had enough time, we’d go to the casino at Monte Carlo, or continue on past Monaco to Ventimiglia, the first town past the Italian border. They have a great market there on Fridays.

By this time, it would be late afternoon, time for a drink or a cup of tea. Without telling our guests where we were heading, we’d drive back toward Nice along the Moyenne Corniche (the middle coast road) and stop at Eze, another famous and beautiful perched village. We’d park the car and climb up the narrow pedestrian streets to the five-star Hotel Chèvre d’Or, in the middle of the village. From the bar, we’d lead our guests out onto the terrace and watch their reactions as they first saw its breathtaking view out over the Mediterranean, east to Italy and west to Cap Ferrat and beyond. There, drinks in hand, sitting beside the swimming pool and admiring the view, we understood why this part of the world is the playground of the famous, the glamorous and the wealthy. And we were living there!

View from Eze

8. Please talk about your interactions with the locals. Was it easy to get to know them? What about local customs, local concepts of time, boundaries, hospitality?

Dan: At first, our only connection to the locals was in shops, at the bank, and in restaurants. Our conversations were limited to the transaction at hand and maybe a brief remark or two about the weather, especially since our limited French was very rusty. We soon learned that it was polite to greet everyone you passed on the street (Bonjour, monsieur/madame), and to say hello and goodbye to everyone in the shop as you entered or left.

The books we had read about living in France said that while the French are polite, they are not easy to get to know. They rarely invite people they don’t know well to their homes, and tend to limit their social lives to established friends and family. So if we wanted to get to know people, we’d have to reach out to them.

After a couple of months, we wrote a note to our next door neighbour, Madame Schmidt, who knew Roxanne and our house very well, and invited her for afternoon tea. Her visit followed all the rules of etiquette we’d read about. She arrived promptly 15 minutes after the appointed time and brought us flowers from her garden. (Never a bottle of wine! That would be insulting.) She remained in the living room and didn’t use the powder room, wander out to the kitchen or ask for a tour of the house. She drank her tea and kept up her end of the conversation, speaking very slowly so we would understand. After one and a half hours, she said her goodbyes and left.

A couple of weeks later, she in turn invited us to her place. We too followed all the rules – but, to our delight, she did give us a tour of her house!

Judith: Later on, our book project became the main way we met people and were first invited to their homes. Several friendships resulted. Some – though not all – were more formal and limited than we’re used to. We became friends with one couple who would invite us over for drinks and serve them on the patio – we’ve never stepped inside their house! We didn’t resent this at all; we just found it interesting!

The whole subject of cultural differences is fascinating. What time to arrive for things, for example. Provençals, like many southern people, are known for being relatively casual about time. We once watched guests arriving for a wedding twenty minutes after it was supposed to begin. It didn’t matter, though, as the bride was half an hour late! But we never got it right. We’d show up for a village event right on time, then sit around – sometimes for up to an hour – before it started. The next time, we’d deliberately be fifteen minutes late and it would be all over by the time we got there.

I had the same problem with what to wear. When I showed up in my good clothes, everyone else would be in jeans. When I turned up in shorts and sandals, everyone else would be in dresses. In your own society, you usually know these things. It’s disconcerting and humbling – but also kind of fun – to have no idea!

Of course, we didn’t want to make too many faux pas. We learned from our books not to take chrysanthemums to our dinner hostess. In France, they’re strictly for graves and funerals. We learned not to offer our French guests wine except at meals, unless it was mixed with a little blackcurrant liqueur to make a kir. Champagne, however, could be served any time! We learned that every French person considers it their duty to correct your grammar and pronunciation, whereas we would never dream of correcting their mistakes in English.

Dan: One difference we never quite got used to was the reluctance of the French to offer information unless you ask directly for it, lest they insult you by assuming you are ignorant or telling you something you already know. Ask a French ticket agent if there’s a train to Lyon at 3:15 and he’ll say yes or no – but, if the answer is no, he won’t go on to tell you the schedule for other trains to Lyon, or offer the information that there is no direct train, and that you’ll have to take a train to somewhere else, then transfer. That must be why, though we regularly took Roxanne’s nine year old car in for checkups and maintenance, the garage owner never told us that all cars more than five years old are legally required to have a safety inspection and display a certificate on their windshield. Two months after we came back to Canada, the new inhabitants of Mas Ste. Anne phoned us in some dismay. They’d been stopped by the police and had to pay an enormous fine!

"Nuages mauves"

9. You also made some connections with English-speaking expatriates. Please tell us a bit about their lifestyle, their experiences of community.

Judith: Once we’d settled into the house, we began taking French lessons at a language school, where we met some people who’d recently moved to France from England and Ireland. Through them, we discovered an English-speaking Anglican church and began attending services there. After so many months of being able to communicate with other people only in our halting and rudimentary French, it was an incredible relief to hear and speak English for that hour or two each week!

Dan: The Côte d’Azur attracts people from all over the world, and many of them are from the U.K., USA, Canada, Australia and other English-speaking countries. Most are ordinary people living ordinary lives, going to work, church or school, raising their families, paying their mortgages, and so on. They’re just doing it in one of the most beautiful places on earth. Even if their lives seem ordinary, they tend to be interesting and adventurous people.

But the ex-pat community spans all social classes, from very humble to the rich and famous, drawn together by their common language. We met and mingled with people we’d never normally have encountered back home – artists, journalists, distinguished statesmen, highly placed government bureaucrats, a few celebrities, even one or two who were at least rogues and rascals, if not con-men or outright criminals!

Judith: We made a number of good friends among the ex-pats and most of them knew each other. That was a big change from our life in Toronto, where our friends form our own personal network, but usually haven’t met each other. Here, we see our friends individually. As a result, our social calendar is often scheduled months in advance and we may see very good friends only a few times a year. Over there, our English-speaking friends were part of a community, and it was easy to keep in touch. We saw them at church, ran into them on the street, and we all went to the same parties. We didn’t need to plan our social life in advance; it was very spontaneous.

When I decided to throw a surprise birthday party for Dan, just a week before his birthday, it took only three phone calls: two to friends, and one to the traiteur (caterer) about the food. The night of the party, almost fifty people arrived together and sang Happy Birthday outside the door. (Many of them were choir members, so they sang it in four-part harmony!) They brought the food, the wine, and the cake with them; all I had to do was pay for it. And was Dan ever surprised!

Dan: Although we loved being part of this community, we had to be careful not to let it take over our lives. It would have been easy to listen only to Riviera Radio (an English station broadcast from Monaco), read the Riviera Reporter (an English magazine for ex-pats) and imported English or American newspapers, and spend all our free time with our ex-pat friends.

We didn’t want to do that. We made a conscious effort to listen to French radio and television, read French newspapers and speak French as much as possible. We usually attended the events in our village on our own, not with English-speaking friends, so we could interact with our French acquaintances and get to know them better. We invited French people for drinks, or dinner. As a result, we managed to live in two worlds, French and English, and to enjoy them both.

10. During your stay in Provence, you started a very interesting project to profile the village that you were staying in which allowed you to meet some very interesting local people. Please tell us more about that project.

Judith: Dan loves photography. I’m a writer. So doing a book while we were in France – his photography, my writing – seemed like a natural idea. We had limited funds, and couldn’t afford to travel, so, making a virtue of necessity, we decided to concentrate on Le Bar-sur-Loup, to show, in words and pictures, the rhythms of life in this typical French village. That was what we were learning about as we lived there, and it was what I looked for, and rarely found, in the text of the many photographic books on France we’d collected over the years, long before we ever dreamed we’d live there.

Dan: With the help of a translator – so as not to miss any nuances in the answers – and a tape recorder, we interviewed around 35 people, from the mayor on down, including the village policeman, the postman, the butcher, the baker and – no, there was no candlestick maker! – shopkeepers, retired couples, expatriates, even a family from Tunisia. As people answered the questions posed by Judith and our translator, I took photographs.

On other days, Judith would be at her laptop preparing for interviews and making notes, or – later in our stay – writing the first draft. I was often out with the camera: early in the mornings or at sunset for shots of the village from across the valley, throughout the day to catch people going about their everyday life, or to get close-ups of details like doors, door-knobs, fountains and windows. I spent one night – midnight to three a.m., and back again at six a.m. – taking pictures of the village baker and followed our olives from the trees, through harvesting, to the mill and back to our kitchen as olive oil. And of course, I took photographs of every village event!

Judith: I asked everyone we interviewed what they most liked about living in Le Bar-sur-Loup, and the answer was almost always the same, “C’est calme et tranquille.” So the title of our book is Calme & Tranquille: Rhythms of Life in a French Village.

11. What has happened to the book? Have you finished it?

Judith: No, we haven’t finished the book, though it’s getting close. When we came home ten years ago, I had written most of the first draft. We thought that we’d have the book done within months, or at most, in a year or two. In retrospect, that was naïve.

For the first three years after we got back, I missed Le Bar-sur-Loup so much that every time I tried to work on the book, I cried and couldn’t write a word. Eventually, we got the text written (a completely new rewrite), the photos selected and the book designed and laid out. We had another hiatus of several years while we supported our parents – Dan’s dad, my mother – through their final illnesses. We’re just now getting back to it and are finding that it’s pretty slow going. Other things – family, friends, work – come first. And I’m still not happy with the writing. I’m basically a how-to writer, but this book requires more evocative description and engaging story-telling. That’s a challenge for me.

Dan: It’s a bit embarrassing, especially when people from Le Bar-sur-Loup ask us where the book is. We’ve stopped making predictions about when it will be finished or how we’ll get it published. But we’re pleased with what we’ve done so far and we’re not giving up.

12. Looking back on your experience, what are your three fondest memories of your time in France? How has this experience changed you?

Judith: It’s very hard to pick just three. One of my favourite memories, because it was so unlike anything I ever imagined about life in France, was the night we attended a Christmas party for the choir that many of our English-speaking friends sang in. There we were, in France, on the Côte d’Azur, in the glamorous town of Cannes, near the Croisette, around the corner from the world-famous Carleton Hotel – and we were in a Lebanese restaurant, having dined on middle eastern kebabs and rice, singing “Johnnie, Where’s Your Troosers?” with fifty or sixty English-speaking expatriates!

Market in Grasse

Dan: For me, it was being accepted by the people in our village, even though we were still étrangers, foreigners. People called us “les Canadiens”. A lot of them knew we were working on a book about them and their village. Through the interviews, we got to know a lot of people better than we ever could have in casual conversation – and they felt they knew us too. At village events, people would invite us to sit with them. They’d kiss us hello – the ritual two-cheek greeting – in the streets. When we left, the mayor and council gave us some lovely gifts, and thanked us for the interest we’d taken in their village. Though we were there only two years, we felt we belonged. We still keep in touch with several people in the village, and many others recognize us and greet us warmly every time we return.

Judith: On the route we usually took in and out of the village, there’s one spot where, as you approach the village, you come around a curve and see Le Bar-sur-Loup perched on the hillside, the mountain rising up behind and the valley sloping off below. Every time I saw that view – and it was often several times a day – I was filled with delight, gratitude, and sheer amazement at our good fortune. Even now, ten years later, that memory brings a flood of happy feelings.

13. Making a decision to move to another country for a year or more, in mid-life, was a very courageous decision and entailed some significant sacrifices. Please comment on that and tell us what you would say to someone who is contemplating a similar decision.

Dan: Before we left, people kept telling us it was courageous, but we didn’t see it that way. We were so excited about this great adventure that it didn’t occur to us that we were being brave. How could we turn down this opportunity?

It’s only now, looking back, that we see the sacrifices we made. Because we stayed for two years, instead of the original one, our funds ran very low. We came back to our house – and our mortgage – but we had spent all of our savings and our RRSPs.

When we returned, I decided not to go back to advertising, but to work with Judith in our business, be a musician and a househusband, and try to sell my photography. We had to start again financially, with only one income, and that has been more challenging than we thought it would be.

Now, with retirement looming in a few years, we sometimes wonder if it was foolish of us to have spent all our capital in mid-life, and to have chosen self-fulfillment and following our dreams instead of a regular pay cheque. But when we think about our experiences in France and the quality of life we’ve had since our return, we realize how glad we are that we made those choices. It wouldn’t be right for everyone, but it was for us.

14. Your stay lasted about 2 years. Please describe to us your experience upon re-entry into Canadian life.

Judith: Culture shock! We weren’t prepared for that. For the first month or two, we couldn’t eat in restaurants, because it was so noisy. French people pitch their voices just to the table. Canadians – like Americans – tend to talk at full volume, so everyone in the restaurant can hear. As the din increases, people speak even louder. We couldn’t stand it.

We also missed hearing French all around us. It’s very melodic. And it’s surprisingly restful when you don’t understand what other people are saying. You can tune it out more easily.

Dan: We also found it hard to adjust to the constant barrage of advertising, both visual and aural. Billboards, magazine and newspaper ads, radio and TV commercials – never-ending.

We missed the formality of the French, the politeness of every conversational interaction. When we arrived, one suitcase didn’t arrive, and we went to the luggage counter. The clerk there was perfectly polite by Canadian standards, but he seemed rude to us as he asked, “Yes? What can I do for you?” without addressing us as Sir or Madam as he would have in France.

A brasserie in Antibes

Judith: We missed the medical system. It’s the best in the world, with doctors who routinely make house calls, no waiting (I got an MRI appointment in two weeks, whereas in Canada I have to book it one to two years ahead), and test results explained to you on the spot, with a copy for you as well as one for your doctor.

Dan: We missed the sophistication of the technology, from the amazing sound systems at every public event and the astounding fireworks displays, even in our tiny village, to the widespread use of wireless terminals in every restaurant so they can scan your credit or debit card right at the table. At the gas pumps, you have to key in your PIN number along with swiping your credit card, so there’s much less fraud. Last year, someone used our Visa card number to charge thousands of dollars worth of gas out in B.C. That couldn’t happen in France.

Judith: But coming back to Canada wasn’t all bad. The roads here are wider and easier to drive. Gas – but not wine! – is cheaper. We were glad to be close to family and friends again.

Dan: One of the things that helped a lot during that adjustment period was being able to talk to the family and friends who had visited us there, and to share our memories and stories with them. Since they had experienced our life there, even for a brief time, they were more interested and had more sense of how deeply it had changed us and how much we missed being there.

15. You have been back a few times to Provence since your extended stay. Please tell us about these trips. What did it feel like to go back?

Judith: We went back to Le Bar-sur-Loup for two months in the winter of 1997-1998. Besides all the usual reasons – longing to be there again, escaping the Canadian winter – I wanted to see if I could do subcontract work from there. I found that the technology was no problem, and the time difference was an advantage, but the clients were still uncomfortable with distance, even if they never had face to face contact with me in Toronto. And I sensed that it would be hard to get new contracts from so far away. That trip was wonderful, though. We’d only been back in Canada for a couple of years, our
French was still pretty good, and not much had changed over there. We slipped back into our old life very easily, and enjoyed it as much as ever. So did our cats!

Dan: In September 2000, we went back for two weeks. There were changes in the village – the butcher had retired, the husband of the couple who owned the pub and restaurant had died, some shops had opened and others had closed. We had a wonderful vacation. We were busy every day, seeing our friends, revisiting favourite sites, buying presents to take back home. But for us, the magic is in living there, in watching the seasons change, in conducting our daily lives surrounded by all that history, beauty, and – most of all – by being part of our village and the larger French culture and society.

Local provençal fabrics

Judith: We just returned from another vacation in France last month (May 2005). This time, we spent a week exploring another region, Languedoc Roussillon, along the Mediterranean from the Spanish border to Montpelier. House prices are cheaper there, and, if we want to spend more time in France in future, after we retire, we thought that might be a good area to move to. We’re still not sure – it wasn’t love at first sight – and we’ll likely go back there again to see if it grows on us. We went back to our village for the second week. Again, we had a great time visiting our friends, both English and French. But the rapidly rising house prices, and the high value of the Euro, make buying there almost impossible for us, at least right now.

Dan: Le Bar-sur-Loup has changed a lot since we were there last, and the changes are hard to adjust to when they hit you all at once. The lovely old chateau is being turned into a modern hotel and restaurant. They’ve torn down the old porch, with its distinctive arches, put in modern windows, and covered it with yellow crépi (plaster). It’s quite a shock! The church is closed for major renovations until sometime in 2006. A huge extension is being built on the back of the Mairie (town hall). The village is clogged with cars; it’s almost impossible to find a parking space. Some of the shops, and one of our favourite restaurants, have closed. The tourist office no longer sells souvenirs, books or photographs, so it has lost much of its charm and appeal. And, as Judith said, the house prices are astronomical right now.

We’ve always dreamed of returning to Le Bar. We’re still attached to it in many ways, but the changes make it a little easier to contemplate other possibilities.

16. The South of France has left lasting impressions on both of you. I understand you have plans to spend more time in France in the future. Please tell us about your plans.

Dan: Before our trip in May, we were talking a lot about retiring to France in five years, and were considering the pros and cons of buying a place there in the next year or two. Our idea was to move there permanently when we retire and come back here in the summers, perhaps swapping our house and car for one in the GTA.

Now we’re thinking about renting instead of buying, especially since we learned that you can often negotiate a reasonable rent for most of the year if you’ll agree to leave during July and August, so the owners can rent the house by the week – at very high rates – during the summer. That would work for us. And, while are living there, it would be a lot easier to buy, if that’s what we eventually decide to do – and if we can afford it.

Judith: Despite the changes we see in France – graffiti everywhere, more fast food, people eating on the run, the creeping invasion of American culture, and so many foreigners (like us!) moving there – we still want to live there again in the future. Life there is a delight for the senses. It’s rich in culture, history and the customs of everyday life. For us, it’s a satisfying and balanced way of life. In France, I feel bien dans mon peau (“good in my skin”). I have a sense of general well-being and aliveness I rarely experience anywhere else. I want more of it.

Dan: Me too.

Dan and Judith, you have so eloquently evoked mental images of this little paradise in Southern France, it is making me long for visiting this scenic and fragrant stretch of countryside. Thank you for your time and for sharing your wonderful memories and insights.